Children who’ve been in school classrooms may have used something similar to our Grief Chart, teachers might use it to gauge how the class is feeling or how hard the pupils have been working.
Creating a Grief Chart allows you, as the adult supporting the child, to start a conversation about emotions by talking about the chart rather than the child. Often, children can find it difficult to talk about their feelings but if you can attach the conversation to an activity or item, they might be more willing to chat.
Alongside the Grief Chart, you can also make a Coping Wheel – this is something you can use to suggest ways to express the child’s emotions or grief if they find it helpful.
Make a Grief Chart
You will need:
- Paper
- Pens/Pencils
- Scissors (and a helpful grown up!)
- Blu tack (or similar)
- Split pin or paper clip
How to make a Grief Chart
To make your own Grief Chart, start by talking about emotions in general and select a few key feelings (you can always add more!). You can print out images of emojis, or simply draw shapes and colour them to represent the emotions you’ve chosen. Next, cut out your shapes so they can move around.
Here’s an example:
1. On a sheet of paper, draw out a vertical line on one side (like a height chart!), and mark out evenly spaced notches and numbers from 0 to 10. This is where the child will rate their emotions. Draw a box above or below the chart where the emotions can sit while they’re not in use – a bit like a car park!
2. Attach small pieces of Blu Tack or similar reusable adhesive to the back of them. Now you can start by ‘parking the emotions’ and then adding emotions to the chart as and when the child feels a different way.
It’s important to note that grief can sometimes feel like a big mix of emotions, or it can sometimes feel empty of emotion, similar to feeling of numb. It’s completely valid if the child cannot pinpoint their emotions at any given time, and equally normal if they choose to put every emotion at a level 10.
Alongside your Grief Chart, there’s the option of adding a Coping Wheel. The wheel will offer ways to express emotions and can be used on its own or with the chart.
Here’s an example:
1. Take two pieces of paper, draw a big circle on each and cut them out. Next, cut a pizza slice shape out of one of the circles, then draw pizza slice sections on the full circle.
Your pizza slice circle is going to be the top layer. Decorate this however you like and write ‘Coping Wheel’ if you want to.
2. Take the full circle (with pizza slice lines on it) and write some ways to express grief on each pizza section. For example: write a letter, listen to music, look at photos, go outside, talk about memories, hug it out. These are just ideas, but you can write whatever you think would suit the child you’re supporting.
3. Place the Coping Wheel (with a missing slice) on top of your full circle with ideas on. If you have a split pin, poke it through the centre of both circles and fold it flat on the back to attach the two circles. If you have a paper clip, make a small cut with scissors through the centre of both circles and slide a paper clip from the centre across the two layers of circles – see photo for visual explanation!
4. Now you should be able to spin your top circle and choose the idea you’d like to try to help the child express their grief and emotions.
Getting grief support
Winston’s Wish provides immediate bereavement support by phone, email, and live chat. Don’t wait to get onto a counselling list, speak to one of our team on weekdays from 8am to 8pm for free.
You can call our Freephone Helpline on 08088 020 021, email us on ask@winstonswish.org or use our live chat. Our support workers are here to listen, can offer immediate guidance and resources and tell you what support we can offer and what might be most suitable for you.
Our Winston’s Wish Crisis Messenger is available 24/7 for urgent support in a crisis. Text WW to 85258.
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