Talking to children about their grief can be difficult and you might feel like you can’t choose a ‘good’ time. Maybe there isn’t a good time to talk about grief, sometimes they might ask you questions at awkward times or not want to address the topic at all. One of our suggestions for trying to talk to the child about their grief is to be carrying out an activity at the same time as bringing up their emotions.
This activity is a simple arts and crafts project to help you decorate for the Halloween season… or any time of the year if you’re fans of spider webs!
How our Halloween activity can help you talk to a grieving child
You can start the activity as you would at any other time, then try to begin a conversation about fears and emotions. Children often become fearful of lots of different things during their developmental years, and for a grieving child it is normal to develop a fear of death. Spiders can be a common fear, so this activity may be a time when talking about fears doesn’t feel so out of the blue.
You could then lead into a conversation by asking “what else are you scared of?” to try to discuss their feelings of fear. If it feels okay to do so, you might ask, “when you think about [your special person], what emotions do you feel?”.
It can be difficult to be prepared for their questions and answers when children are talking about grief and big emotions. If you don’t know the answer or how to respond, be honest with them and say that you’ll think about it and come back to that later. It is important to ensure that you do come back to them when you have had time to think of an answer, so that the child trusts that they can come to you with their questions and will get an answer when they can.
For advice on how to start this conversation with the child, you might find it helpful to visit the links below or talk to one of our practitioners by calling 08088 020 021 (open 8am-8pm, Monday to Friday), emailing ask@winstonswish.org or using our live chat.
Make a spooky paper spider web
You will need:
- Paper
- Scissors
- String or thread
How to make a spooky spider web
1. Start with a sheet of A4/printer size (or bigger) paper and lay it flat on a surface
2. Fold the top right corner diagonally across the paper to align the edges together (the corners won’t meet but the folder section should create a perfect triangle)
3. Trim off the excess paper at the bottom below the triangle shape
4. Fold the triangle in half again to create a smaller triangle
5. Fold again to create another smaller triangle
6. And then fold one more time to make a cone shape
7. Ask an adult or use safety scissors to trim off the excess paper. You should end up with a triangle that has two very long sides and one short side
8. On the short side, ask an adult or use safety scissors to cut a curve or an arc from edge to edge
9. Cut out think rectangles across the triangle – these rectangles will create the lines of the web! Make sure to only cut from one of the long edges and don’t cut all the way across
10. Gently unfold your triangles to reveal your spider web!
11. Feed some string (to hang the web) through one of the holes on the outer edge of the web and loop it back to tie a knot. Don’t pull too tight as it might rip the paper
If you’d like to add a paper spider to your web, you can follow these instructions:
You will need:
- Black paper (or paper you’ve coloured in)
- Scissors
- Glue
- Googly eyes if you have them
How to make a paper spider:
1. Using black paper or paper you’ve coloured in, cut out one small circle and one larger oval shape – these will be the head and body of your spider!
2. Cut four long think rectangles. They should be much longer than the oval body – these will be your legs!
3. Glue the circle onto the top edge of the oval shape
4. Take your four long thin rectangles and glue them across the oval shape so they hang off each side of the spider’s body
5. Make a fold by bending halfway along the thin rectangles to make the shape of spider legs
6. Then fold or crease the parts of the legs that are closest to the body to make sure your spider can stand up!
7. If you have googly eyes, you can stick them onto the head. If not, you could draw them on or cut out small white circles and glue them on
8. To attach the spider to the web, feed the legs through some of the holes on the web
9. Hang it up and you’ve got yourself a spooky spider web
If you’d like to, take a photo and tag us on social media – we’d love to see your Halloween spider web decorations!
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Activities for grieving children
Download our free activities to help grieving children express their feelings and remember someone who has died.
Information and advice
Advice and resources to support children and young people, including on bereavement by suicide, homicide and serious illness.