How to help a child grieving the death of a pet

When a child experiences the death of a pet, like the death of a person, it can be a very difficult time for them. It’s important to be supportive and understanding as they grieve the loss of their pet.

Pets offer comfort and companionship, so no matter what mood they are in, children find support and security from their animal friend.

Here are a few things you can do to help them.

Validate their feelings

Grief can bring many different emotions and feelings and it’s important that the child can express their grief in a safe and supportive environment. Let them know that it’s okay to feel however they want to feel when grieving the death of a pet. There is no right or wrong way to grieve and everyone is unique.

Be clear and honest

Be honest with the child about what has happened, using age-appropriate language that they can understand, avoiding any confusing terms or expressions. Use the words ‘died’ and ‘dead’ rather than ‘gone to sleep’ or ‘lost’ when telling them.

These terms can lead to confusion, especially in younger children who may wonder if they can wake up the pet who has ‘gone to sleep’ or may even become anxious about others going to sleep.

Help them understand death after the death of a pet

Death can be a difficult concept for children to understand, and it can be equally difficult to know how to begin to explain death to a child. What children understand about death varies depending on their age or stage of development. Help them understand death as a natural part of life, using examples and stories. If they have any questions, try to answer them simply and honestly.

Continued below…

Understanding how children grieve

How to explain death to a child

Give them plenty of love and support after the death of a pet

When grieving the death of a pet, a child may need a lot of attention and care. Make sure they know that you are there for them. Listen to their concerns, provide comfort, and show them that you care.

Help them remember their pet in a special way

Below are some helpful ways you can support your child to remember a pet who has died.  

• Create a memory box. 
• Make a scrapbook of memories. 
• Plant a tree in your garden. 
• Perform a ceremony, like a funeral, with all those who loved their pet. 
• Write a goodbye letter and bury it with their pet. 
• They could write a poem or short story talking about their life with their pet. 

Be patient

Remember that grieving takes time, and every child grieves differently. Be patient and understanding with the child as they navigate their grief and adjust to life without their pet. Offer them support and care and always remind them that you are there for them to talk to if they need it.

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Activities for bereaved children

Download our FREE activities and help grieving children and young people express their feelings and remember their pets after they have died.

Information and advice

Has the death of a pet brought up emotions around the death of someone important in your life? We can help, access our information and advice resources for supporting bereaved children and young people.

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