Pets offer comfort and companionship, so no matter what mood they are in, children find support and security from their animal friend. When a child experiences the death of a pet, like the death of a person, it can be a very difficult time for them. It’s important to be supportive and understanding as they grieve the loss of their pet. Here are a few things you can do to help them.
Validate their feelings
Grief can bring many different emotions and feelings and it’s important that the child can express their grief in a safe and supportive environment. Let them know that it’s okay to feel however they want to feel when grieving the death of a pet. There is no right or wrong way to grieve and everyone is unique.
Be clear and honest
Be honest with the child about what has happened, using age-appropriate language that they can understand, avoiding any confusing terms or expressions. Use the words ‘died’ and ‘dead’ rather than ‘gone to sleep’ or ‘lost’ when telling them. These terms can lead to confusion, especially in younger children who may wonder if they can wake up the pet who has ‘gone to sleep’ or may even become anxious about others going to sleep.
Help them understand death
Death can be a difficult concept for children to understand, and it can be equally difficult to know how to begin to explain death to a child. What children understand about death varies depending on their age or stage of development. Help them understand death as a natural part of life, using examples and stories. If they have any questions, try to answer them simply and honestly.
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Give them plenty of love and support
When grieving the death of a pet, a child may need a lot of attention and care. Make sure they know that you are there for them. Listen to their concerns, provide comfort, and show them that you care.
Help them remember their pet in a special way
Below are some helpful ways you can support your child to remember a pet who has died.
- Create a memory box.
- Make a scrapbook of memories.
- Plant a tree in your garden.
- Perform a ceremony, like a funeral, with all those who loved their pet.
- Write a goodbye letter and bury it with their pet.
- They could write a poem or short story talking about their life with their pet.
Be patient
Remember that grieving takes time, and every child grieves differently. Be patient and understanding with the child as they navigate their grief and adjust to life without their pet. Offer them support and care and always remind them that you are there for them to talk to if they need it.
How to get immediate grief support
For some children, the death of a pet can be a traumatic experience and bring up past feelings related to the death of their person. If you would like some extra advice and guidance around how to support your child, you are welcome to contact us using the details below.
Our bereavement support workers are available to offer information, guidance and support, right away. Reach out on 08088 020 021 or use our live chat (click the blue ‘chat’ button on the bottom right of your screen) between 8am and 8pm, Monday to Friday. You can also email us on, ask@winstonswish.org and we’ll get back to you within two working days.
For out of hours mental health support, text WW to 85258 to speak with someone from our trusted partner, Shout. For urgent support in a crisis, please call 999.
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