Getting through Valentine’s Day: Tips from members of WAY Widowed and Young

Valentine’s Day can be especially hard when you’ve been widowed at a young age, awakening memories of love and loss. Yet many members of the UK charity WAY Widowed and Young have found ways to make the day meaningful again – for themselves and their children. Whether through self-care, celebrating friendships or creating new family traditions, WAY members share some thoughts on navigating Valentine’s Day if you’re grieving…

Grief, I am learning, is love with nowhere to go. I still carry immense love for my husband, but there is no place to put it now. That truth is devastating and accepting it will take time.

But love has not disappeared. It has expanded. It has shown up in friendship, community and care. And this Valentine’s Day, I want to acknowledge the people who have held me and my children through the last 13 months.

I will never forget what that love has looked like.

Astrid

This is my second Valentine’s Day. I’ve bought myself the piece of jewellery I’d have asked my hubby for and I’ve booked a weekend of activities with our daughter. We are turning it into a ‘Galentine’s’ day. I’m ok with that. My hubby would think I was daft but he would have understood.

Anna

Like many dates throughout the year, 14th February is another that can be difficult. This year, a few WAY Widowed and Young members thought that it would be nice to come together by going for a walk and grabbing a coffee. It’s great to spend a few hours getting out of the house to meet up with other young widowed people for a chat and a few laughs along the way. It’ll be time in great company with those who just ‘get it’. It really lifts the spirits.

Whatever you’re doing, I hope the day is kind to you.

Matthew

We never did Valentine’s Day, to be honest. However, it still stings a bit that he isn’t here to have a joke about it together.

I’m doing Parkrun in a heart dress on Saturday morning and I’m going to an Am Dram awards night in the evening, so hopefully it won’t be too coupley at either events.

Suzi

I think, as time goes by, that you become partially immune to the sad part of this. I always send a card to a dear friend.

Andrew

This will be my first Valentine’s Day without Paul. The fact that it falls on a Saturday is even harder. Weekends are long and lonely. Paul and I were never big into Valentine’s Day anyway but he would always give me a card, even though every year we agreed we wouldn’t.

I had planned to join a local widowed and walking group for the weekend and then my friend asked if she could come and stay for the weekend. She lives 100 miles away so we don’t get to see each other that often.

We are going to go out for the day and then in the evening get an M&S meal for two. Walking past the card display in the supermarket was hard so I bought her a card. She has been my rock these past 11 months and I love her to bits. That will be a good distraction.

Caroline

It will be my third Valentine’s Day. I’m trying not to think about it and I’m volunteering for WAY Widowed and Young on Valentine’s Day so at least I’m doing something useful to distract myself. I help to host and run Zoom meet ups for new members. It’s nice to be able to help to support and provide the space for new members to share their feelings. Some will be navigating their first Valentine’s Day since losing their partner.

Josephine

We didn’t really celebrate Valentine’s Day other than giving each other a card on the day. We’d go for a meal the weekend before or afterwards.

I’m less triggered by it after four years, but there is still that pang of loss and reminder of what should have been that it brings. Remember: Our loved ones will always be our Valentine and nothing can ever take that away from us.

Tony

About WAY

The WAY Widowed and Young community offers a safe space to talk to other people (both with and without children) who understand how it feels to be widowed at a young age.

Find out how WAY can support you at www.widowedandyoung.org.uk