Supporting a child on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day

Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and other special days can be really difficult for children and young people who have lost a parent or another special role model in their life. From adverts to social media posts, it can be difficult to avoid Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, and there can often be unwelcome reminders that their parent is no longer here. 

However, a child or young person feels and whatever they want to do on these dates, there is no right or wrong, but it can be an opportunity to remember their parent. Read about some ways our Youth Team remember their parent on Father’s Day here, and find more ways to remember someone who has died here.  

Here are 10 ways grieving families can remember someone on an important day like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. 

1. Make a special card in memory of your mum or dad 
2. Take the special card to their grave or to where their ashes are 
3. Blow some bubbles and imagine they can carry a message to them 
4. Plant some bulbs or a shrub in a place that holds special memories of your mum or dad 
5. Cook their favourite meal – pizza? Roast dinner? Curry? 
6. Listen to their favourite music (however awful their taste was!) 
7. Put something in a memory box that reminds you of them 
8. Create a digital memory board of special photos 
9. Ask family members for their memories of your mum or dad 
10. Write them a letter or a poem or a song 

On days like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, grieving children and young people may experience lots of different emotions, including sadness, anger, confusion, or even guilt. As their parent or carer, your support can make a big difference to how they navigate these days. It’s completely normal if they seem absolutely fine one minute and then burst into tears the next, each child or young person will feel differently in the lead up to and on these dates. 

If they’re open to recognising the day, encourage them to talk about their feelings, share memories, or express themselves through creative activities like those listed above. Let them know that it’s okay to celebrate, to cry, or to feel nothing at all. Most importantly, remind them that they are not alone and that however they choose to mark the day, their grief is valid, and you will support them in whatever they choose to do.  

Some children and young people may choose to ignore the day completely, which is also completely okay. It’s likely that their views of these significant dates may change from year to year, so it’s important not to assume how they will be feeling and to always check in with them and ask what they would like to do this time around. 

Where to get support

If you are a young person or are supporting a bereaved child or young person who is struggling with their grief, please call us on 08088 020 021 (8am-8pm, weekdays), email ask@winstonswish.org or use our live chat (8am-8pm, weekdays). They will be able to offer guidance, information and support. 

For out of hours mental health support, text WW to 85258 to speak with someone from our trusted partner, Shout. For urgent support in a crisis, please call 999. 

Winston’s Wish is a charity. We rely on our army of supporters for 92% of our income so we can continue to provide free bereavement support for children and young people. 

If you’d like to remember your dad and support Winston’s Wish at the same time, you can create a special online dedication here or make a donation in his memory here. 

Other resources you might find helpful

Publications and resources

Our specialist publications and resources to help parents and professionals to support bereaved children of all ages and circumstances.

Activities for bereaved children

Activities to help grieving children and young people express their feelings and to help them maintain memories of the person who has died.

Connect with us

Sign up to our newsletter and follow us on social media for all our latest news and advice on supporting grieving children and young people.