Ways to remember someone when there is nothing left behind
Devastatingly, sometimes when a person dies, you are left with nothing to remember them by. This can include having no memories of them, you can read more about supporting a bereaved child with no memories of their person here. Below, our Bereavement Specialists share some advice and suggest ways to support children and young people to create items and record memories of the person who has died.
It’s important to be mindful of what is happening across the world. With conflict, poverty, homelessness, and a significant rise in the number of children and young people who are looked after; it may not be as rare as we think for children and young people to not have any belongings to help them remember the person who died.
Objects, photos and other belongings may feel like the last ties they have with the person who has died. If children and young people do not have these, you can support them to create their own memorial objects through crafts, drawing and writing about their person. Or you could encourage them to collect something new that reminds them of their person, for example items that were their favourite colour, take photos of things they would have liked, and start a memory box to keep everything in.
Suggestions of ways to create new memorial items:
- Make a memory jar, it is not only a supportive activity, but an object a child or young person can keep close.
- Use worry dolls or monsters to talk about feelings, but also the child or young person can keep them and cuddle them if they wish.
- Get creative in every way!
- Drawing pictures of their person.
- Painting places they used to go to together.
- Writing letters and poems to and about their person.
- Write stories, fantasy, and fact.
- Craft sets such as ooglies, knitting or crocheting, play dough or clay, creating characters or figures, Lego or building kits.
- Remember something the person used to have and re-create it, such as a drawing of their pet, soft toy, or favourite jumper.
- What favourites did the person who has died have? Colour, animal, food, season. Combine them together, for example you could create a purple, summer loving, pasta eating panda!
Acknowledging the difficulty for a child or young person to have no objects, photos, or belongings after a person in their life dies can help them validate their feelings. It is so important to remember that you can create new objects from knowledge and memories. These creations and allowing the child or young person to express their feelings for the person who has died can enormously help to support them in the future because they can revisit everything to keep remembering.
Where to get support
Our team of bereavement specialists are available to speak with right away. No appointments or waiting lists, just real-life grief support. Call us on 08088 020 021 (open 8am-8pm, weekdays), email ask@winstonswish.org, use our online chat (open 8am-8pm, weekdays) or text or WhatsApp us on 07418 341 800 (open 8am-8pm, weekdays). You must be 13 or older to receive support via WhatsApp.
For urgent support in a crisis, please call 999.
Other articles you might find helpful
Publications and resources
Our specialist books include ones on supporting children and young people after a death through suicide, homicide and in the military.
Information and advice
Advice and resources to support children and young people, including on bereavement by suicide, homicide and serious illness.
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